This is very cute! And, I am going to print if off and post in on my fridge - down low.
PET RULESTo be posted VERY LOW on the refrigerator door - nose height.
Dear Dogs and Cats,
The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food..
The other dishes are mine and contain my food.
Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate does not stake a claim for it, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.
The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack.
Beating me to the bottom is not the object.
Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.
I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this.
Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort.
Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep.
It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible.
I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.
For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom.
If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get y our paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered.
Also, I have been using the bathroom for years --canine or feline attendance is not required.
The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough!
To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following message on our front door:
To All Non-Pet Owners Who Visit & Like to Complain About Our Pets: 1. They live here. You don't.
2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture.
(That's why they call it 'fur'niture.)
3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.
4. To you, it's an animal. To me, they are adopted children who are short,
hairy, walk on all fours and don't speak clearly.
Remember: Dogs and cats are better than kids because they: 1. Eat less
2. Don't ask for money all the time
3 Are easier to train
4. Normally come when called
5. Never ask to drive the car
6. Don't hang out with drug-using friends
7. Don't smoke or drink
8. Don't have to buy the latest fashions
9. Don't want to wear your clothes
10. Don't need a gazillion dollars for college, and...
11. If they get pregnant, you can sell their children. (But let's not go there - Spay! Neuter!)
for yourself. Heck, order two or three. Friend's Day is just around the corner - don't you have a girlfriend who doesn't know how awesome, 
